As I Perceive

Thank You, Helen Keller

2011-11-28T19:49:00.001-09:00

"Believe, when you are most unhappy, that there is something for you to do in the world. So long as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain... The unselfish effort to bring cheer to others will be the beginning of a happier life for ourselves."

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

2011-11-14T20:19:00.001-09:00

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

A Fervent Focus

2011-09-15T02:07:00.004-08:00

On my way home tonight I couldn't pass up the opportunity to capture the beauty of an old and dear friend, Cheney Lake. What you don't see in this photo are the kids running around near the water outside of the photo frame, the woman behind me smoking, the creepy dude staring out the window of his car on my right, the boat being hauled over the top of the car on my left, the traffic behind me, or (your loss) the handsome young man who parked his bike to come sit near the bank and simply exist. When I feel sincerely drawn to take a particular photo, to capture the essence of beauty, I am sheltered by the same boundaries which frame the scene as I prepare to release the shutter. One of the greatest challenges in life is to harness such focus in one's day to day existence.

I pray we can all pick up the proverbial camera more often, striving to find that which is beautiful and good in our lives and the journeys we take. By doing such, our focus will be on more eternal matters, and the distractions around us will slowly fade into the far borders of our view.

Please don't hesitate to set aside time to express your appreciations, show kindness toward others, and to fervently focus on what matters most.

"...tiam sis, kuv paub tias nws tsis lig."

2011-04-25T15:55:00.005-08:00

Hnub no kuv xav hais kuv qhov lus timkhawv kuv xav qhia nej hais tias kuv paub txoj moo zoo nuaj tseeb. Kuv paub tias Vajtswv yog kuv Leej Txiv Saum Ntuj Ceeb Tsheej thiab tias Nws hlub Kuv Kawg nkaus li.

Tej zaum kuv tos rau Vajtswv rov qab hais lus rau kuv cov lus thov, thiab tej zaum kuv raug tus siab thiab poob siab. Ces kuv hnov lus mos tias kuv tsis yog ib tib neeg xwb thiab nws yuav foom koob hmoov kom kuv ua zoo siab.

Feem ntau peb tos rau peb Leej Txiv hais lus rau peb tiam sis, kuv paub tias nws tsis lig. Nws paub txob peb, thiab Nws yuav pab peb lus siab loj hlob, thiab txais tej yam zoo.

Qhov no yog kuv txoj kev timkhawv, txog txoj kev siab ntej thiab kev ntseeg. Thiab kuv hais tej yam no los ntawm Yexus Khetos lub npe, Amen.

**To those who helped me translate this, you know who you are; thank you so much.

In English:

I'd like to bear my testimony today to tell you that I know the gospel is true. I know that God is my Heavenly Father and that He loves me very much.

Sometimes I have to wait for answers to prayers, and I feel sad, alone, and hopeless. Then I get a gentle reminder that I am not alone, there is something more coming, and this helps me feel happy.

Heavenly Father may take a while to answer our prayers but I know, He is never late. He knows us and what will help us learn, grow, and obtain our righteous desires.

This is my testimony, of the importance of patience and faith, that I leave with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

American Cancer Society - Relay For Life May 13-14, 2011

2011-03-27T22:03:00.001-08:00

This will be my third year of participating in American Cancer Society's Relay For Life, a 20 to 24-hour non-stop walk in memory of, honor of, and in support of those affected by cancer... and their loved-ones.

Please donate to this great cause if you can. Click HERE and it will give you many options for donations. Click HERE and you can dedicate luminarias, $10 each, that will line the pathway and be lit from sun down until the relay is over the next afternoon.

Thank you all for your help!

Joanna

PS. What can your donation do? Per American Cancer Society's website, here's how your donation can help:

Programs and Services

$5 - Can provide an hour of toll-free access to the National Cancer Information Center, providing support and valuable information for a newly diagnosed cancer patient anywhere in the country.
$25 - Can provide an interpreter for a 10-minute call to 1-800-227-2345 (National Cancer Information Center) – providing priceless information for a patient newly diagnosed with cancer.
$100 - The cost of training and providing resources for the Road to Recovery volunteer to make sure patients get to their treatment appointments.
$100 - Can provide a gas card to a patient to help them get to treatment appointments and relieve financial burden.
$75 - Can provide a woman battling cancer with a complimentary bra or other personal care item from our tlc catalog.
$100 - Can provide a wig for a patient battling cancer to help boost morale.
$75 - The cost of training and providing resources for the Reach to Recovery volunteer to visit and provide ACS resources to a woman just diagnosed with breast cancer.
$350 - Value of Look Good...Feel Better® consultation giving a cancer patient the opportunity to learn how to care for her changing skin during treatment including simple tactics for drawing eyebrows on her face and impacting her sense of well-being and self esteem.
$2,500 - Pays for a 1-year college scholarship awarded to eligible young cancer survivors to help relieve the burden on families facing costly medical bills.
$150 - Can provide lodging to a patient to help them get to treatment and ease financial burden.

Research

$10 - Can provide a Petri dish for cancer research, essential to the life-saving work of scientific discovery.
$15 - Can provide 50 test tubes needed by scientists working on a cure for cancer.
$20 - The cost of dividing DNA taken from 5 of the 1,200 cases during the American Cancer Society’s Prevention Study II, which helps researchers understand the genetics of cancer.
$30 - Can purchase a glass Erlenmeyer flask, which allow researchers to mix and/or store different substances, including potentially beneficial drugs, to discover their cancer-related effects.
$350 - Provides 1 Gel Box, which researchers use to isolate DNA and identify differences that may impact cancer diagnosis or treatment.

Advocacy

$10 - Pays for a one-year membership to the American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network (ACS CAN). ACS CAN members take action on legislative issues consistent with the Society’s leadership role in cancer prevention, early detection, treatment, and survivorship. Visit ACS CAN at www.acscan.org. (ACS CAN is the non-partisan, nonprofit advocacy affiliate of the American Cancer Society, and donations must be made separately to ACS CAN.)
$50 - Supports advocacy campaigns to increase funding for cancer research or smoke-free laws.

Kuv lub npe hu ua Paj Dawb Lis

2010-09-21T08:37:00.000-08:00

My name is:

This Sunday I was given my new Hmong name: Paj Dawb Lis. I have no idea how to spell it in English so there it is in Hmong.

Thank you to the three wonderful women who named me.

"Lis" is my new last name, translated as "Lee". Our Hmong Branch president's last name is also Lis; it was his wife who facilitated this naming. I've joked a few times that my purpose is to soften President Lee up since he has no daughters... which makes the choice of Hmong last names quite fitting in my opinion.

It was explained to me that "Paj Dawb" means White Flower, a symbol of purity (because it is white). Two of the women who helped pick my new name speak no English. One offered the perspective that purity is a gift from God, which is the Hebrew translation of my American name, Joanna. The other added that as purity is a gift from God, so are temples, which are also white.

And then there is the photo above which I took about a year ago outside the Anchorage, Alaska LDS Temple. That simple white flower is, for some reason, growing with the beautiful purple ones. It looks a little different, sticking out a bit, but that's OK. I may not be the only one serving in the Hmong Branch who is white but as the only redhead; I stake my claim as palest. Relation to this photo should be self-explanatory; I'm their Paj Dawb.

"I'm not the average girl... built like a supermodel... and I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me".

2010-09-18T11:47:00.003-08:00

I had fun driving 4 teenagers home after Hmong Night (language class and volleyball after) at the church last night, treating them to anything they wanted at McDonalds (their choice of venues) as long as it was under $3. You ever ordered ANYWHERE with 4 teenagers? They take forever to make up their minds; a $3 limit helps narrow down the options. They all got various forms of milkshakes or smoothies and I got a diet Coke, at least that doesn't make me sick... oh wait, it did. Never mind.

It was great. We went in, they ordered, I paid, and we sat down at a booth in the kid's area where it was quiet. The only young man in the group, whom I like to call "Socks", spilt chocolate upon himself immediately as he got trapped between two of the girls on the bench (lucky guy!). I admit, I laughed with the rest of them... then rescued the day with napkins. The conversation held was fun, light, and really enjoyable.

Some reading this who are familiar with my general schedule may think, "Wait, I thought she had Hmong Night on Tuesdays..." You're right, I did. Two Sundays ago the Muldoon Branch (small Hmong-speaking LDS congregation) missionaries checked with me to see if I would still be able to come if they switched Hmong Night to Fridays. I confirmed that it was fine but instead of accepting my answer, they were too nice for their own good and asked, "It's not going to conflict with Date Night?" Rather than cracking up laughing in the church like I wanted to, I dramatically looked left and right down the empty hallway, behind me, scouted out the ceiling, then looked straight at the elders and said quite frankly, "Who dates around here? You two aren't allowed to for the next 2 years while you're serving your missions and I've been in a pretty serious date famine for the last couple years with no end in sight. Nope, no conflict with Date Night."

I may not have been out on a date this Friday evening, but I was studying, playing, and spending time with people that I really care about. If ever someone comes around in my life who wants to restore the definition of Friday evenings to "Date Night"... well, they will have to first come to a Hmong Night and get approved by some pretty awesome teenagers, a few cool kids, a really cute toddler, 2 Mormon missionaries, and any "real" adults that may be there. Just the crazy thought of this is making me smile right now, I was joking when typing but it's actually not such a far-fetched idea. What a great screening tool!

In honor of my superior company of young friends on Friday evening who are still growing into themselves and figuring out simply what the heck is going on, I'd like to share one of my favorite "be who you are and love it" songs. The lyrics are below, and at the bottom of the blog is a music player. Go down there and click on the song called "Video" which should be number 18. Enjoy.

Video

by India Arie

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't

Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't

Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes

It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video

and I ain't built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

I'm not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what I'm wearing I will always be the india arie

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me

Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be

And I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me

My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see

I'm not the average girl from your video

and I ain't built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

I'm not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what I'm wearing I will always be the

india arie

Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?

My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows

But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the

game

A misconception, a vast deception

Something's gotta change

but, Don't be offended this is all my opinion

ain't nothing that I'm sayin law

This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share with

y'all

So get in where you fit in go on and shine

Clear your mind, now's the time

Put your salt on the shelf

Go on and love yourself

'Cuz everything's gonna be all right

I'm not the average girl from your video

and I ain't built like a supermodel

But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

I'm not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what I'm wearing I will always be the india arie

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks

I don't need that to have a good time

Keep your expensive car and your caviar

All I need is my guitar

Keep your Kristal and your pistol

I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal

Don't need your silicone I prefer my own

What God gave me is just fine

I'm not the average girl from your video

and I ain't built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

I'm not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what I'm wearing I will always be india arie

Do Unicorns Poop Rainbows?

2010-09-17T04:03:00.000-08:00

This is what my friend Emily posted as her status on Facebook recently.

One response to it that was posted said:

Unicorn: I swear Noah said the Ark was leaving at 5:30

Noah: Sweet, an extra room!

This got me thinking which is not good when I'm tired because either really clever (yay!) or really stupid (not so yay) stuff gets recorded in journals, on Facebook, here on my blog... or in all three.

I commented on Emily's status with a small novel that I dare say is more stupid than clever; perhaps a 92:8 ratio. Yikes. Enjoy... because it's featured below.

Disclaimer: I've been up nearly all night coughing and I'm deliriously tired. This was all tired fun, no religious truths reflected.

I say... yes! But it takes 7 of them to do it right with all the colors. To stay with the Ark theme... there were literally only 7 unicorns in the world, each their own color. There was no getting on the Ark 2 by 2 happening because it would leave #7 alone to drown. Well, that was their excuse upon trying to get through the pearly gates. Really, they were prudish and not really into the whole interracial relationship thing. To continue, they were spared through the flooding (unicorns float and their horn doubles as a snorkel) but the Ark landed on them when it hit dry ground. Bummer. Trapped by the Ark, and before taking their last gasp of sweet air, the 7 unicorns heard the voice of God: "Uh, I've got this As Seen on TV multi-color rainbow creator doo-hickey thing up here but it doesn't work" he said, then grudgingly mumbled, "because I didn't read the instructions before putting it together. I need some help facilitating the creation of a beautiful miracle before y'all come join the rest of the Uni-herd up here". In response to the plea form the Almighty, the 7 unicorns took in that last breath and... crapped out a 7-layer rainbow! One man's crap is another man's treasure... and oh, if only Noah knew how the spectacle was actually pulled off.

Thank you. Thank you. No encores tonight, the coughing has subsided mostly and there's finally a chance of sleeping for a few hours before going to work.

A Day in the Life; 3 Things I See at Work

2010-08-19T08:52:00.002-08:00

We recently lost 2 of our clients. I'd like to think our flag is flying at half-mast in honor of them rather than a well-known local man in politics who happened to kick-it within the same period of time. I'm not heartless... just really hoped it was lowered for them first. I didn't make note of it being half-mast until after Ted Stevens also passed as well.

Moose and their bums; they like to eat our trees.

My friend Luke; here's here, he's there, he's everywhere. If you look closely, near the bottom right corner of this photo is another photo of him (from maybe a year ago?) featured on my bulletin board making yet another fun face over the cubicle wall... before he shaved his head.

The Only Voices I Hear

2010-07-16T01:10:00.007-08:00

With the utmost respect, I would like to share a few statements that touched me a few days ago during a meeting I was in with one of my clients and a clinician from my office.

These are direct quotes.

“I would like to write an autobiography of my life to tell people I’m not schizophrenic.” –Client

“I don’t hear voices… I listen to my CD player, that’s the only voices I hear.” –Client

“Do you ever see anything other people don’t see?” –Clinician

“Only what I draw on paper.” –Client

“I don’t want to go back there.” –As said by the client in a calm, reflective manner after sharing a little about his 3 or so years in jail.

Temples

2010-06-26T16:59:00.004-08:00

I was going to write about my impromptu trip to the temple on Friday evening but instead would like to share this YouTube "Mormon Messages" video with all my friends. Enjoy.

Click here or go to http://youtu.be/-x_-TQivCx8 to view the video.

A Very Hmong Morning

2010-05-11T06:44:00.013-08:00

Good morning! Somehow I accidentally woke up this morning at 5 AM. I don't know how it happened, I just woke up alert and decided it would be stupid to roll over and go back to sleep.

As of this last Sunday (Happy Mother's Day Mom!) I can make it public that I have been called to serve in the Muldoon Branch (a small LDS "Mormon" Hmong-speaking congregation here in Anchorage). I am their new organist, music coordinator and will be working to reach out to their young single adults who may need a little push to increase their activity and/or have fallen away. Starting this evening I will begin weekly classes to learn how to speak, read and write Hmong.

I have gotten rid of my music player at the bottom of my blog page and have in turn embedded a video clip in this post of some dancers (you know I love music and dancing) from Hmong New Year in November 2008 I found on YouTube. Please pardon the microphone screech three-quarters through the video and the people noise at the beginning. I was one of 3 caucasians (that I could see; there was a TON of people there) in attendance at this particular celebration. I missed last year but hopefully will very much be in attendance this year with (cross your fingers) at least some understanding of the language this time.

Also please note the new link I have added to my list on the right as well which will initially bring you to the Hmong Alaska Community Inc. website's History & Culture page.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Sustenance, Suits and S'mores on Saturday

2010-05-09T00:45:00.011-08:00

Today our postal workers gathered food from all over the city to donate to the local food pantry. The postcards in the mail to tell residents of this great communal effort said to put non-perishable food in a bag and set it near one's mailbox. Uh... heck no! A small black bear has been known to roam our area as well as other animals (including fellow humans) that are attracted to food; the last thing I was going to do was leave out food in the open. As you can see, I stuffed my little locked mailbox with various cans and a box of lime Jello (the "Mormon-y" side of me couldn't resist). What you don't see is that a hefty jar of peanut butter didn't fit so I put it in our outgoing mail box with the flag up accompanying a letter to an old friend in Maryland (you also didn't see that I went out and did all this while heavily medicated and wearing pink fuzzy slippers). This was such a small thing and yet I found it quite fun. Hooray for supporting local causes!

My lazy Saturday ended with dinner and dessert at the parents' house with 2 sets of missionaries from church. There was the pair serving in the Young Single Adult (YSA) ward (congregation) and the pair serving in the Hmong branch (smaller congregation that is in this case language-specific). Dad made his famous 5 noodle, 3 pepper soup... but forgot one noodle type so it turned into 4 noodle, 3 pepper soup. This version featured deer (not something we get often up here) and chicken hearts (per my request because they are my FAVORITE) as the soup's meat. Very yummy; less spicy than in the past. I ate my first green salad since January tonight as well; they have been the cause of a lot of agony so I've been in avoidance mode. Pray it's not a trigger for issues tonight... I've been missing my greens.

Side note: I (apparently) really (really) really (like) using (parenthesis) today.

After dinner we enjoyed s'mores made with GIANT (see how big they are compared with the chocolate bar?) marshmallows.

At Christmas I enjoy a fun tradition I purposely started within the last few years of roasting s'mores outside over the grill (or whatever you can get lit on fire). This last Christmas I was unable to participate due to illness and the s'mores were not made nor eaten. I was so happy to see the bag of massive marshmallows on the counter and hear dad ask, "What do you think of s'mores for dessert?". Mmmmm-mmmm. Post-gallbladder removal surgery day 8; time to experiment with food.

Oh my goodness. Those s'mores were amazing! With super GIANT marshmallows you don't have to put 2 on the roasting stick. One is definitely plenty. The s'mores were EXTRA messy and hilarious to eat while trying to keep an air of dignity. I ended up hiding in the corner laughing hard while attempting to finish s'more number one. By the time our marshmallow-roasting adventures were over, I had ooey gooey marshmallow goo all over myself... as did the elders. Way fun.

It took me hanging out on a Saturday night while fairly medicated for pain with my parents and 4 young men at least four years (at most 6 and a half) my junior who are un-datable and serving God on a proselytizing mission 24/7 for the next 2 years for me to laugh and really say I had FUN fun.

Now why aren't I having these kinds of enjoyable times with people my own age that are actually huggable? Hm.

Who are you not to be?

2010-05-04T16:38:00.003-08:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

As long as it's your best...

2010-04-30T00:23:00.005-08:00

Life is like one's favorite board game; you do your best with what you've got and hope it doesn't end too soon.

I don't anticipate complications with the gallbladder surgery being done at 7:30 am today, but every time I discount it as a minor surgery and nothing to worry about people pipe up with, "There are risks with any procedure blah blah blah blah blah".

I was fine tuning that out until I went to sign pre-op paperwork yesterday. After 3 pages of "initialing here" to indicate that I understand each and every risk that may happen but probably won't, I'm feeling some little level of uneasiness.

I thought I'd keep this briefer than my normal posts because it's superiorly too late at night and I have to be at the hospital by 5:30 am tomorrow... but we all know that's impossible.

To reiterate a point made earlier, my life of 25+ years thus far has been like my favorite board game. I've been doing my best and I really would rather it not end too soon.

In the event that it were to, I'd go with very few regrets if any at all. I'd hope my family and friends would always remember how much I love them and have faith in the belief that I know someday after all is said and done, friendships will continue and families can be forever united.

There is a God. I like to refer to Him as Heavenly Father for He is the father of our spirits. Once we all lived with Him, together as a literal family of spiritual beings. We were doing very well and were living good lives. We were missing something though, a test of faith. Heavenly Father had a plan to create a world for His children to dwell on and be tried and tested to see if we would draw our strength from Him, endure to the end in righteousness and return to His presence.

A mortal life lacking memory of our spiritual pre-mortal experience would be hard, grueling and we would make mistakes. Heavenly Father sought for a child of His who was willing to be perfect in His doings, selfless beyond comprehension, an extender of mercy and to himself be sacrificed in order to fulfill the law of justice so all of Heavenly Father's children would have a chance to make amends while striving for better but living less than perfect lives. Our elder brother Jesus Christ took on the role saying, "Father, send me" and fulfilled the law of justice in all our steads by taking on our every sin and burden, suffering for them and dying at the hands of men whom he blessed for they knew not that they were killing their Savior.

I know Christ lives, that He walked and talked and blessed people after having been resurrected, breaking the bands of physical death. We are all promised that opportunity, to be saved from physical death through resurrection. It's like we're all given a "get of jail free" card without having to roll the dice or move our game piece to get it. Avoiding spiritual death or suffering is a whole different story though. We will be judged on our faith, our works, our hearts, our minds... so many things within our control yet so often neglected and abused.

I urge you to go forth and exercise faith, do good, soften your heart, cultivate your mind and find a straight and narrow path leading somewhere worth your while and follow it. Do your very best climbing the proverbial mountain of trials and tribulation. As long as it's your best fight, your best climb, your best effort.... one day Christ will reach down, grasp your hand and pull you up the rest of the way from whatever point you were able to get to, making up the difference. This folks, is my favorite illustration of mercy.

God be with you all till we meet again. I'm sure it will be in the next week at work or church or wherever. But... on that far-fetched chance that it's not, I promise not to be far away and I will surely see you later.

Love,

Joanna

Bad Momma Points

2010-03-11T00:32:00.002-09:00

I shamefully admit that I accidentally locked Mango, my cat, in the bathroom all day long.

Hear me out here. I keep my bathroom door closed during the day because Mango likes to ruffle through the trash can (I've said it before, she's like a dog). She must have snuck in there this morning and I closed the door unaware of her presence.

Coming home this evening I noticed she wasn't near the front door to greet me like usual.

I hollered her name expecting to hear her run across my room upstairs and pummel down the stairwell.

Nothing.

I went upstairs a little concerned and found her in my bathroom staring out very pitifully through the glass in the door (it's a bathroom within my room).

Oh man, did I feel bad. Got some bad momma points today.

A Dash of Sympathy

2010-03-02T03:25:00.003-09:00

by Joanna E. Dickson

Familiar far too well with the torment of heartbreak, I want to remind everyone that the pain goes both ways. It may hurt to have one’s heart torn to shreds, but it can be an equally painful and tormenting experience while standing in the shoes of the one doing the tearing.

A message to those on either side: Exercise an element of understanding with a dash of sympathy, sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. Every experience is for our benefit. Sooner or later you will look back on the gloomier moments in your life to discover innumerable lessons learned and know Heavenly Father was with you every step of the way.

* * *

Pinching pennies got you singin’ the dating blues? Here are some red-hot date ideas that will get you out while saving a little green:

Take a date on a fun and informative walk through a scale model of the solar system accompanied by beautiful views along the way! For more information, visit www.anchorageplanetwalk.org.

Have a GPS or an iPhone with a GPS “app”? If so, you’re almost set for a fun date of geocaching. Geocaching is a world-wide high-tech treasure hunt you don’t want to pass up. Go to www.geocaching.com for more information and start collecting coordinates today!

Disc golf is a great date activity around town that caters to varying level of athleticism and is free to participate in, though you have to purchase your own discs (less than $30 for three discs; not bad). There are multiple courses within Anchorage and the surrounding area. For more information, visit www.alaskadiscgolf.com.

(This will probably be condensed and published in the March 2010 issue of the Anchorage, Alaska Institute of Religion newsletter).

***Note to those wondering why I posted this before the newsletter is out: I felt like it needed to be posted now rather than later. Kindly, back off.***

I have to ASK?

2010-03-02T03:20:00.002-09:00

by Joanna E. Dickson

If you didn’t catch last month’s newsletter, I shared a few green ideas for the dating scene; fun date activities that can easily be revisited, reused and recycled. There are places to go, things to do and you are not going alone.

Has your preparation for a date ever looked like this?:

Shower? Check.

Deodorant? Check.

Matching socks? Check.

Gas in the car? Check.

Guy/Gal? Che- What? I have to ASK someone?

Sometimes we forget that dates don’t grow on trees (the fruit kind do, but they aren’t good company). Even the best preparation for a date does one no good if the best of preparations aren’t taken care of previously; asking someone to join you in the near future for a good time.

Understandably, on the asker and the asked end of things, we sometimes experience doubts:

“I want to ask her to join me for the science lecture at the zoo but I’m afraid she’ll...”

“He asked me to join him for the first Friday art walk but...”

“I think she’s interested in... so why bother asking her to go dancing?”

“I’m just not... enough.”

You ARE enough. You are good enough. You are handsome/pretty enough. You are interesting enough. You are educated enough. You are enough just the way you are.

Heavenly Father packaged us all differently when He sent us here to dwell and grow. We are unique in how we look, who we are, what we have experienced, how we approach things... and how are we to get to know each other and appreciate those differences if we don’t spend time with each other outside of large groups doing the “hanging out” thing?

Men, again, it’s 2010 and the women in your life would like you to put down the video games and ask them on dates. Asking someone out for a date is not a marriage proposal; it’s just a date. Being asked out for a date is not a marriage proposal; it’s just a date. Going out on dates provide opportunities to learn, grow, and appreciate others. Through dating we are able to find and pursue interests which some day may lead to love and the joy of eternal marriage. Now really, who can argue with that?

(This was condensed and originally published in the Anchorage Alaska Institute of Religion newsletter for February 2010).

Going Green in the Dating Scene

2010-03-02T03:11:00.007-09:00

by Joanna E. Dickson

Going Green: A statement we’re hearing, reading and running into all over the place lately. Everything is touted as either reusable or recyclable, except plastics with numbers greater than 2 and glass in Alaska, but nobody’s bitter about that.

Speaking of bitter, we can battle bitter blues and dating dilemmas this year by “going green” in the dating scene. Men, it’s 2010 and the women in your life would like you to put down the video games and ask them on dates. The following are a few fun date activities that can be easily revisited, reused and recycled that are great to participate in paired off and combined with other couples (or with friends or family if your date ditches at the last minute).

A Matter of Intellect: Every 2nd Wednesday the Alaska Zoo’s Gateway Building opens at 6pm with a “Wildlife Wednesdays” free science lecture at 7 p.m. This monthly event runs through April 14, 2010. Visit www.alaskazoo.org for more details. IDEA: Take notes and compare them over hot chocolate after the lecture.

The Arts: On the first Friday of each month, art galleries and other venues in downtown Anchorage remain open late to welcome the public in viewing new work by local artists (most of these venues also have great music and snacks for visitors). The art walk begins at 5:30 and ends at 8 p.m. Maps are available in the Anchorage Press or you can just have fun wandering your way around downtown. IDEA: Pick a random couple and nonchalantly follow them through the venues.

Movin’ and Groovin’: Every night of the week there are opportunities to learn various dance styles all over Anchorage. My personal favorite are the lessons taught in the Golden Lion Hotel’s lounge on Friday evenings (they have a dance floor and live music). Lessons are from 7 to 8 p.m. and the dance floor is open late. The crowd is small, the instructors are tons of fun, and the environment is as wholesome as you may find in the city outside of a church gymnasium. Remember to wear practical shoes. More information and a schedule can be found at www.akswing.com IDEA: During the lesson you may be trading dance partners frequently. Make it a game to remember the names of everyone you dance with.

Happy dating everyone, and remember, GO GREEN in the dating scene!

(This was condensed and published in the Anchorage Alaska Institute Council newsletter for January 2010).

Read Me. I contain the words Teddy Bear, Cajole, Luddite and Nosh in one single post.

2009-12-10T22:37:00.014-09:00

I have been busy, tired (as illustrated), and quiet lately. On here, that is. Ask anyone at work and they will tell you I've been rather vocal, at appropriate times, of course.

Here is a quick (or not so quick) update:

In mid-October Mango and I moved into a condo with my friend Laurie who works on the North Slope half-time, loves Mango, and is dating one of my best guy-friends around so life on the home-front is pretty sweet.

Y'all know about the belly dance performance in November 'cause I wrote about that in the last post. Over Thanksgiving I house-sat for a family in town with a big hairy dog named Bandit. For some reason I have not been able to say "no" when they ask me regardless of my schedule or sanity breaking point. I'm a softy and yes, Bandit and I are again spending Christmas and New Years together. This time, he's going to get a chance to meet Mango. He's an obnoxious very friendly dog, and she's a curious cat who plays fetch. Sounds like a match made in Heaven to me.

This is the last week of finals for UAA, though I was done last week, and I found out that I got an A in Psychology and a B in Human Services. Next semester I will not be enrolled at UAA as I will be focusing on my certificate program through New York Institute of Photography. I need to finish that before I do anything else.

I donated money to the AWAIC (Abused Women And Infants in Crisis) shelter through a United Way fundraiser at work last month and was entered into a drawing to win a round-trip ticket anywhere Alaska Airlines flies. Let me tell you how often I win things: I won a large teddy bear from a drawing at Walmart that I don't remember entering when I was 17. I won an electric toothbrush at the health fair at work in October (and gave it to Laurie because I had just bought myself a Sonicare system). And then a few weeks ago I hear this over the intercom at work:

"And the winner of the drawing for the round-trip ticket is... Joanna Dickerson!"

First I was in shock, then I casually made fun of our receptionist for mispronouncing Dickson.

Everyone has been inquiring as to what I'm going to do with the ticket. Well people, I think I have made up my mind. I need to speak with our HR department first, but if I can, I will be flying to New York City and back with the free ticket. While in New York City I will visit an old roommate and her husband and son, see at least one Broadway show with a friend from Maryland who said he will come see me from Boston where he is now living, perhaps see my cousin Andy if I can cajole him into a visit from Upstate, and then hop a plane for Ukraine.

Yes, you read that correctly, I'm going back to Ukraine. It has been 8 years since I visited the first time and it's high time I go back. Misha and Nataliya are in Kiev so I plan on being there most of the time. I do hope to hop a train and go to Marganets and visit the school I was at, Misha's mom, the unofficial school for kids with disabilities, and my old host family too.

This trip will knock out a at least two items from my running list of things to do before I die (published on the bottom of my blog). How fantastic is that? Even better, the traveling and things I will be around (especially in Ukraine) will work to my advantage in regards to the NYIP program.

Trips, list of things to do... oh yes, and in March I will be traveling to Nome with a friend to see the end of the Iditarod, another thing on my list of things to do before I die.

Also, tomorrow (or perhaps it's today 'cause it's past Midnight) after work I am joining my friend, co-worker, and fellow belly-dancing sister in celebrating Hanukkah (or Chanukah). Yes, I am skipping my church Christmas party to learn about the traditions of people whose beliefs are quite similar to my own LDS ones. And no, she is not Jewish. The best description I have for my friend and those who worship like her is... Messianic Believer. They heavily study the Torah and adhere to the old ways and at the same time utilize the whole Bible and believe in Christ as their Savior. A few Fridays ago she came and spoke at a regular Friday luncheon we hold at the LDS Institute of Religion. It was fantastic, she was great, and the Spirit was strong in that room and for the rest of the day. Friday evenings (as able) for me are spent with my friend and her husband enjoying Hebraic dancing before settling down for Torah study followed by Nosh (to eat a snack). See, Mormons aren't the only ones with food at their gatherings.

On the flip-side of all this glee:

1. Two months back my old cell phone sat in rush-hour traffic for about 40 minutes being run-over and survived, then crapped out a couple weeks ago.

2. I've had 1 (ONE) official date in the last year and a half.

3. I accidentally dropped my new phone on the floor at work sending the back, the base, and the battery in separate directions. Right after that moment my boss walked into the cubicle and I looked at him with an "Oh-boy-I-hope-he-doesn't-see-the-disaster-I-just-created" look on my face while attempting to stifle laughter. He knows my faces well and called me on it so I pointed to the floor. In a questioning manner, he called me a luddite. Look it up.

Wait, one more thing!!! (Where's my OFF button?)

Speaking of work, this month right about now marks my one-year since changing positions at work from Job Coach to Service Plan Writer. In February 2010 I will have been working for Assets, Inc. for 2 years. Where has the time gone? And for everyone's bit of useless Joanna Trivia, before now the longest I stayed in one employment situation was 11 months. Yes, that was my official record. That's not bad compared to my nomadic moving habits. I haven't lived anywhere longer than 8 months after leaving home in early June 2003 (except the 10 months I lived at home again upon my return to Alaska in '07).

Ok people, that's it today.

New Adventures

2009-11-22T01:55:00.006-09:00

Ciccia Bella Belly Dance troupe performed at BellyDance Rocks, sponosred by Earthquakes and Hipshakes 2009 on November 7th.

We peformed to Natacha Atlas' "Man's World" eight days after my 25th birthday... I was on stage with the troupe donned in purple and green. Y'know, I wasn't nervous until the lights turned on and I thought, "Holy crap, what am I doing?".

Trying new things and participating in random and sometimes scary adventures has the potential to bring us wonderful new friends.

In my case it did and I hope it continues to do so.

Challenge: Go out and do something that not only scares you... do something that makes you happy.

I dare you.

Love,

Joanna

In lieu of dating...

2009-08-28T01:10:00.004-08:00

A few weeks ago I adopted Mango from the Humane Society.

To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of cats. I adopted a cat when I was at BYU that desperately needed a loving home. She had gone from a cage to a family that didn't love her, back to a cage. It took her two weeks to finally come out of hiding and realize I was ok. Her name was Jennamiah and she was exception #1 to my "I don't like cats" stance. Mango is #2.

When I moved myself out to Maryland, Jennamiah couldn't come with me. I had a friend whose sister had gone through some traumatic experiences and we found that Jennamiah was the puuurrr-fect therapy for her.

I thought for sure never would I have a cat again, especially back in Alaska where my mother lives who happens to be very allergic to those of the feline influence.

I was thinking the other day about the company I keep. Yes, I have 3 rescued frogs living with me. They are African Clawed Frogs who happen to not have teeth or tongues so they aren't just 3 rescued frogs, they are 3 very strange frogs as well. I also have an aging Beta Fish, respectively referred to as "Fish". My relationship with my tank & bowl-bound housemates is very much one of all give and no take. The frogs can't cuddle and the fish can't go on a walk around the block. Now, while in D.C. I did consider a social experiment of putting a goldfish in a sealed plastic bag tied to a leash and walking down the sidewalk next to the Reflecting Pool with the fish-in-bag-on-leash bobbing along beside me in the water. Unfortunately, I didn't do it. Regardless, my dearest Fish would be upset at the idea; He goes stir crazy from simply moving his bowl somewhere different.

Seeing as I keep very little company (pun intended), am super busy, and as y'all know have hit a brick wall in the dating realm... I'm sorta lonely.

In lieu of dating, I adopted Mango. She cuddles, runs around chasing a simple laser light providing hours of entertainment, is learning to walk on a leash, and somehow has the magical powers to help me sleep better. I only have 3 issues with her: 1) She really likes my belly dance coin skirt and has decided it must be delicious, 2) her new favorite place to lounge is in my textbooks, but only when I'm studying from them, and 3) oh-my-goodness, she farts like a dog. Really.

In just these few weeks I've felt relief of sorts from simply having a furry companion who gives back just a little bit each day. I feed her, groom her, make sure she has a clean place to leave her digested deposits, play with her, tolerate her flatulence, take her on drives on the weekends.... and all she has to do in return is show me she cares in that I-dropped-my-toy-in-my-water-dish-please-do-something-about-it-then-I'll-love-you way that cats do.

Or maybe a Beta Fish.

2009-08-21T23:23:00.004-08:00

Since Monday I go back to school part-time to spend loads of money and lots of time to earn a piece of paper that says I am capable of studying and completing stuff relating to a particular subject and I'm applicable to be paid a little more (maybe) than the average Joe... I've decided to write about a first day of school in 1991 that I remember vividly.

I was a little scared to go to school on the first day of first grade at Ptarmigan Elementary. I didn't want my dad to leave me there with all the kids I didn't know. He pointed to a girl with long blonde hair standing in line near my new classroom and said, "Joanna, she looks like she'd be a good friend."

Lo and behold, Dad was right. Her name was Amber and as luck would have it, she happened to live on the same street as I did. We had fun sledding down the hill near my trailer, going to birthday parties, pestering BJ, the classmate who lived next door to her... normal kid stuff. I credit Amber with teaching me how to ride a 2-wheel bicycle and make a hula hoop spin on my arm (not at the same time).

My family moved when I was in the 5th grade and I went to a new school for 6th. After that, it was rare to see Amber ever. We ended up attending the same high school but I didn't realize it until maybe our junior year. There were a good number of students at Bartlett and it was easy to not know who was there.

I wish I could say it was like old times again after we discovered each other in the hallways of high school, but it wasn't. Amber and I crossed paths occasionally and that was it. I remember the nostalgia of attending our Senior Prom and having her there too. That... that was definitely worth a spot in the lifetime memory bank.

Since then Amber and I have seen each other once. That one time was happenstance; we crossed paths at the Alaska State Fair last year. Amber is happily married and has a beautiful little boy.

Thanks to modern technology and those social networking websites I used to make fun of, Amber and I have been in touch some over the last few years. We just had a nice conversation online about life and families and the like. It occurred to me that we are now closer to our high school 10-year reunion than we are to our high school graduation. Time flies for sure. I'm somewhat excited; it should be fun to see where everyone is "10 years later".

I mentioned to Amber that the only apprehension about going to the 10-year reunion is that I will probably show up stag. She has a family, a husband, this little life that encapsulates the essence of her existence now. I am just I... singular; status probably not changing in the next 4 years judging on patterns based on the last 6. I wonder if a plant would do as an acceptable date. Or maybe a Beta Fish.

It seems (yes, I understand this is merely a perception but it is my perception and my blog, so lay off) that everyone from high school that I am back in touch with are parents, married, top of their class in some masters program, or gay. I only mention the gay point, and pardon my non-political correctness, because men come out of the closet and all-of-a-sudden become oober popular. It's like being gay is up there with fame and fortune these days. Crazy how time changes things.

Case in point, I envision myself in 4 years attending that 10-year reunion to look around and see how nowhere I've gotten myself in comparison to oodles of people that wouldn't even talk to me 10, 11, 12, and 13 years previous. I'd leave the evening of chaos thinking, "Well, that was a whoop-dee-freaking-doo-da of a good time" and probably never show up for another reunion again.

Yet, to revisit a previous thought.... I'm somewhat excited about the whole shebang.

Oh, My Grieving Soles

2009-07-08T22:56:00.002-08:00

My little feet have had a few adventures today.

Yes, I'm writing about my feet. If I were any other person, perhaps I wouldn't even think to write about them. However, my feet have been points of public interest for quite a while everywhere I go so I figure if everyone else can talk about them, I can surely write about them.

Before I share the adventures my feet embarked on today, here are some little (pun intended) facts about them:

#1 I am 5'3'' tall, 4 months away from my 25th birthday, and my shoe size barely rivals that of an average 7 year-old.

#2 I wore Spiderman shoes all through high school (they were better than Barbie and whatever pink cartoon characters were out at that time).

#3 I wore blinky-light tennis shoes while living in Maryland (I would have in Alaska but I was fearful of electrocution in the snowy winters).

#4 Absolute strangers have in the past and still do stop me out in public and ask to see my feet because "they are so cute". Embarrassing. Really people, do you have to do that?

#5 In Utah I met a young man straight out of China (he was preparing to go on a mission at the MTC where I worked) who, when he spoke to me, kept staring intently at my feet. I made the connection and thought perhaps that was the equivalent of an American man staring at a woman's chest while speaking to her which is not appropriate, especially for missionaries. I actually asked him to kindly stop staring, pay attention to what he was doing, and avoid my work assignment for the rest of his time there. It's kinda funny now, but was admittedly uncomfortable then.

Ok, on to today's unfortunate events.

Last week when I was cleaning my fish's bowl a small glass chink flew off the bottom when I didn't quite clear the edge of the bathtub with it. I found the piece and tossed it in the trash. Well it turns out the piece that came off did so in 2 separate pieces because this morning, about to hop in the shower, I stepped on a piece of broken class.

I wore sandals today to work, because it's so incredibly hot up here in Alaska right now (global warming?). My supervisor, a coworker and myself had a small break in the day and took a walk around the ARC of Anchorage next door, then tossed around a frisbee in the field between our buildings. Running around and sandals don't mix so off they went and I became giddy with the idea of grass under my feet in the middle of a work day. A bad toss caused the frisbee to land in some thicker areas of foliage and I took off after it not really thinking where I was walking. When I realized I was putting myself at risk going after the frisbee in bare feet, I was so close to it I didn't care. I figured, eh, I stepped on a piece of glass this morning, how much worse could it get?

Keep in mind, I was the kid growing up that wasn't allowed to go outside without shoes, let alone around the house without slippers or something on my feet. Seriously, dad always made a point to try and step on me when I attempted to go barefoot and would continue until I at least threw some socks on. Simply stated, I've never been accustomed to walking barefoot on rough terrain... or any terrain at that.

Continuing on, things happen in threes apparently, due to the heat I did my desk work with my sandals sitting next to me on the floor. Also due to the heat, I was excessively thirsty and when the conference room around the corner was empty, I ran in there to fill up my water bottle since it is one of only two locations at work that has a filter on a tap to reduce the iron in the water. There were chair mats in front of the sink and I got excited to walk on something smooth and cold. Three steps toward the sink and my brain finally registered severe pain. The chair mats where upside down with those sharp carpet-grabbing teeth things facing up... and I had pretty much launched myself onto them. The sensation was like that I've gotten when I suddenly realize I've slammed my finger in a car door.

After work and all that... I went to my dance class where I danced around for an hour and a half barefoot on a hard floor.

Oh, my grieving soles.

Tell me I'm ugly, tell me I'm fat... but please, leave my religion alone.

2009-07-01T23:23:00.009-08:00

Well everyone, life's been busy lately and full of adventures; some welcome and some not.

I'd like to share some recent happenings while out and about. Brace yourselves.

My friend Katie called me up one evening and wanted some company for dinner. I had stuff to do around the house, specifically laundry so I wore a denim skirt and a much-applicable "Grumpy" (from Snow White) t-shirt that day, but being a good friend took precedence and I went and joined Katie at a local late-night restaurant. Dinner was good, conversation was better, and as we stood in line to pay we were jovially intercepted by a well-dressed man, his wife, and their son.

He asked, "What church do you go to?" and Katie answered him, "We go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. What church do you go to?"

Now, at this moment I was expecting him to say he was Mormon too and he knew he had recognized us from Stake Conference or something. Right? RIGHT? No. HECK NO. He told us he went to some other church, and to be kind I won't mention the denomination. Then he handed us a pamphlet, invited us to visit his church, and took his family into the restaurant. What did Katie and I do next? We looked at the pamphlet of course! And you know what it was? It was blatant anti-Mormon literature. If I remember correctly the front mentioned something about us worshiping a different Jesus and somewhere inside it also clearly stated that we're going to Hell. Nice. Fantastic way to go about making friends.

It was painful. We weren't the only ones standing there in line and he specifically picked us out of the crowd as Latter-Day Saints and then proverbially stepped on our souls. Really, that's how it felt. Tell me I'm ugly, tell me I'm fat... but please, leave my religion alone.

This last weekend I was chillin' with Katie again. We were both craving Italian and found ourselves at a cute little Italian place, split a canole for dinner and gelato (Italian ice cream) for dessert. It was a yummy watching-the-budget-but-not-the-waistline dinner. Kudos to Katie, fantastic idea.

After dinner, long story shorter, we ended up at our $3 theater to join some friends for a movie at the last minute. We were a little late, but no biggie. Neither of us knew much about the movie, which will remain anonymous, but it was rated PG-13 and actually came recommended by a fairly good friend. There was an actor in the movie that I find myself despising due to his crudeness but our said friend assured us he was decent in this movie. Ok, we took a chance. BAD IDEA. It was terrible. Not long after we sat down, amidst everyone's laughter and guffawing in the theater, we had to leave.

The movie was the least of the evening, on our way to my car we were intercepted by an upset young lady needing gas. She stopped us and told us that she worked as a security specialist (or something) for Wal-Mart and needed gas to go back to Wasilla (about 50 miles outside of Anchorage) so she could get breast-milk to her baby. Katie's night to run the show was at the restaurant with the guy and the Anti-Mormon pamphlet, this night was apparently mine 'cause I did all the talking. I clarified what this woman needed and made the decision to help with what I could. We are our brother's (or sister's) keeper, right? She looked cold so I told her to wait inside the theater lobby and we'd go to the gas station and get a can filled with gas for her.

Katie and I didn't walk 15 steps further and -Bam!- another woman intercepted our short walk to the car. She was older, wearing a pink jump suit, and needed a ride somewhere. She claimed to be from Eagle River and wanting to get to a friend's house nearby. I had a hard time following her story, which included (I think) something about a drunk guy and driving somewhere. All I could do was tell her we were on our way to get gas for someone and instructed her to go wait in the lobby with the other lady and talk to her.

Katie and I were in shock. Really, if you want random adventures, hang out with me. I'm like a magnet. No joke. This kind of stuff happens a lot.

At the gas station there was only 1 gas can left. The darned thing only held 2 gallons and actually cost more than the gas to go inside it! And I thought the cost of gas was atrocious; It's plastic we need to worry about. While filling the gas can and dealing with the super quirks of technology and the crazy random evening, our defense mechanism of choice was laughter. I'm sure the gas station guy and whomever else was in the parking lot thought we were drunk. Yeah, we were laughing that much. Really, if you think about it, there was humor in the situation. Coming up with possible solutions provided some entertainment. One solution that we deemed as rather funny and somewhat ironic... is the one I actually went with when faced with dealing with the women.

Back at the theater, gas can in hand, Katie and I found both of the women coming out of the theater lobby. I gave the gas can to the woman going to Wasilla and explained it wouldn't get her far, but would get her far enough to hopefully happen upon someone else that could contribute to her trip home. Then, I asked her to please bring the pink sweatsuit lady with her and drop her off wherever she needed to go since it was on the way. I am absolutely not comfortable transporting strangers and that was the only solution Katie and I discussed that came out of my mouth at that moment. I wished them luck and we high-tailed it out of there.

Fun stuff eh?

There's one more adventure I'd like to share, and it's a good one.

I have a list on the bottom of this blog that is a list of things I want to do before I die. I started this list years before the movie "The Bucket List" came about, so no accusing me of copying, imitating, whatever-ing Hollywood. Everything I have accomplished thus far (not much) is listed in blue with a date of completion following it. Well, there's a new light blue one in town... "Learn To Belly Dance". I began classes on June 3rd of this year and am LOVING them.

I look forward to Wednesdays and having that hour and a half of what I think I'll call "no-cares time". I don't care about how I look, I don't care about what happened that day at work, I don't care about if I can get something perfect, I just simply don't care. It's fantastic, and the nonchalant outlook is encouraged. My instructor is this vivacious woman who has personality and spunk in class as well as while performing.

The belly dance style she teaches is Gypsy-influenced, fun and full of movement and personality. Costuming for performing is colorful and fairly flexible per each dancer. I can maintain my modest clothing standards while fitting in and having a great time. I was so happy today I used my computer to take a few pictures post-class to share with everyone.

See? I'm smiling!

I wish everyone a great no-cares rest-of-the-week ahead.

God bless.

My New ABCs...

2009-05-30T15:32:00.004-08:00

A new leaf is turning... Another page is being written in my novel... Approaches are changing... Bulbs of new adventure are being planted... Bright hope is shining... Blessings are recognized... Culture is being explored... Charity shown more... Criticism is put aside... Daring to try new things... Dusting off and moving on... Doing what makes me happy... Different viewpoints are being observed... Ethereal expectations may be simmering down... Employing self-empowerment... Enjoying the ride... Finding opportunity... Faith Faith Faith... Family time is cherished more... Glistening future acknowledged, whatever it be... God-given gifts being shared freely... Glad heart is being softened... Heartaches are smoothing over easier with time... Happiness lies around every corner... Happily laughing at myself when I need it most... Intelligent surroundings being sought... Illustrious self being sought... Joy is my ultimate goal... Jumping to new heights... Just enjoying life as me, JOANNA.

Someday.

2009-05-23T01:33:00.008-08:00

This is what dreams of the future should be made of.

Mine are.

Pain. Cold. Up and going again.

2009-05-16T08:36:00.003-08:00

Do the math. This event started at 7 pm on Friday evening. The first lap was for survivors. The second for caregivers, then maybe 20 minutes later we had a team lap... and I've been walking since with a break from 4am till now as I nursed my ankle's woes and dealt with the beginnings of hypothermia.

The event ends around 3pm-ish today... when I will proceed to crash for a few hours before even thinking about driving back to Anchorage.

CANCER NEVER SLEEPS.

Lonely.

2009-05-16T02:01:00.002-08:00

My 4 other team members are sleeping. I am still walking. I am alone and feeling lonely. CANCER NEVER SLEEPS.

12:37 am and...

2009-05-16T00:45:00.001-08:00

Celebrate. Remember. Fight Back. CANCER NEVER SLEEPS. Still walking.

...

2009-05-15T23:56:00.002-08:00

Still walking. CANCER NEVER SLEEPS.

Still Going

2009-05-15T21:47:00.002-08:00

We dressed my co-worker Joe up in a ball gown and he WON the Miss Relay pageant! Still walking. CANCER NEVER SLEEPS.

Relay For Life

2009-05-15T20:26:00.002-08:00

A little after 8:30 pm on Friday... Still walking. Cancer Never Sleeps.

Men, take notes.

2009-05-01T17:41:00.004-08:00

Yes, I am actually sitting down at the computer and writing a blog post. Don't get too excited, and please don't send the news crews. I look like trash as I have been home sick all day in my very much unbearably warm apartment. I've got all the windows open and it's just roasting. I never thought that on May 1st at home in Alaska I would ever complain about being too warm. Six days ago last year there was a mondo blizzard that dumped well too much snow. If you do some digging in my archives you'll see a post all about it, and a food drive that very night if I remember correctly.

Anyway, for those of you not blessed to be up North at the moment, the weather here has been purely amazing for the last week or so. Our sunlight has been increasing each day by leaps and bounds and it's actually delivering HEAT. That's a big deal up here.

Increased sunlight brings about cheery and jovial moods in people, especially when following a long, dark, and cold winter. Something else that helps bring about those happy moods is a new friend who drops into one's life at just the right moment.

Oh no, I'm not speaking from experience at all. Never.

Have I mentioned lately that I lie? [Insert one of those smiley-face things here.]

That said, there's this great guy that just walked into my life path recently. He's super, and we've been having fun the last couple weeks. What really bites is that he leaves for Iraq with the Air Force sometime in June and will be gone for at least 6 months.

I could wonder why the heck we didn't mesh so instantly a few months back when we initially met, or why this, or why that... but it's fruitless to dwell on anything that nothing can be done about so I'm merely going to make the best of the whole situation.

Do you ever think that sometimes every event in one's life is amazingly correlated?

I do. And that's why I'm ready for whatever life has to hand me. Maybe. Perhaps I shouldn't speak so boldly. It has a tendency to get me in trouble.

Oh! Speaking of speaking boldly (that was definitely an interesting use of verbage), I completed a dating survey for one of my Institute of Religion teachers who was gathering opinions in preparation to speak to a group of youth in the church. Keep in mind that the questions are geared toward teens and the dating lifestyle of that age group. Regardless, I enjoyed myself and am more than happy to share my answers with the world (daring, I know).

Everyone have an excellent weekend and enjoy reading my crazy answers! (Men, take notes.)

1. List the top three characteristics of the perfect boy.

Characteristic #1: Caring and Compassionate

Characteristic #2: Honorable and Trustworthy

Characteristic #3: Motivated and Driven

2. List three things that make a group date good. Please list them with the most important one first.

#1: Good company

#2: Planned and organized (yet flexible)

#3: Sincere fun

3. List three things that attract you to a boy, with the most important thing listed first.

#1: Personality is a major thing. A pretty face can hide a real jerk.

#2: Knows what he wants in life and goes for it.

#3: Sees me when other people don't.

4. List the top three things that you look for in a boy when you consider dating him. List your most important criteria first.

#1: Treats his family well (especially his mother)

#2: Stability (in personality and life situations)

#3: How he has handled past relationships (know his history)

5. List three things that you would like a boy to do on a date.

#1: Open doors (chivalry is not dead, I have yet to see it in the obits)

#2: Exhibit natural humor (just make me laugh, don't TRY to make me laugh)

#3: Talk with me (conversations aren't binding, they’re just nice)

6. List the three things that you would most like a boy NOT to do on a date.

#1: Answer phone calls, make phone calls, text, etc. You know those pre-movie warnings to turn off the cell phones? Yeah, girls need to have those at the door as the guys walk in to pick them up for the date.

#2: Talk about other girls, gossip, and put down past dates. That all spells LOSER. If he talks about them, he'll talk about you.

#3: No bodily functions (picking nose, belching, breaking wind, spitting, etc.)

7. List three things that boys do that turn you off.

#1: Talking about video games (provided that the gal is not a fellow gamer). Come on people, really? Do we have to?

#2: Not washing hands after using the restroom. Self explanatory. Very disgusting. This is worth calling a cab to get home.

#3: Clipping nails in public. If I've typed it, I've witnessed it. Ick. That's it, just ick.

8. How should a boy dress? Here is your chance to tell the boys what you do and don't like about the way they dress. Feel free to tell them what makes you comfortable and/or uncomfortable.

Your pants should fit well. Not too tight, and not falling off. If you need help purchasing the right pair of pants, ask one of the women in your family (especially your grandmother) to help you. Don't wear more jewelry than your date. What are you wearing jewelry for anyway? The CTR ring is cool, sport it bro'. A few other funky things, sure. But please, if you look like a disco ball, bring me the flowers and go home. Don't sport the drug/alcohol t-shirts. Just because Uncle Ned gave it to you for Christmas doesn't mean you should wear it. Wear a nice shirt; that and a non-holy pair of jeans/slacks can go a long way. Please wear socks unless you're going on a date that includes sand or water (we're in Alaska, this is not one that happens often).

How would you like a boy to treat you at this point in your life?

Treat me well. I'm a friend so be a friend. Have fun with me, play along with a good joke for the heck of it. If you like me as more than a best buddy, drop proper hints that clearly let it be known. If you don't, make it clear but with kindness. Leave modern ways at the door. If you want a date, ask for it. Don't wait for me to be feminist and forward.

10. How important is it to you for a boy you wish to date to be an active member of the LDS Church?

Extremely Important!!!! <------ That’s my answer!

Somewhat Important

Doesn't Matter

Not Very Important

Not Important At ALL

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2009-04-19T02:37:00.000-08:00

I now have an apartment-friendly AND me-friendly digital piano in my livingroom. It's a Korg and I love it!

Better

2009-04-11T14:02:00.000-08:00

Now doesn't this look better?

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2009-04-05T16:47:00.000-08:00

I moved. A whole two blocks-ish but still, I moved. I'm now in a one bedroom apartment with my life sitting in the living room. Scary eh? That was taken Friday night, it's a tad better today. Due to General Conference and a related brunch yesterday, and dinner with Shad on Friday (Thanks!), that chicken was my first meal here in my new place. I skipped breakfast this morning so after 6 hours of Conference and church stuff I figured some physical nourishment was needed (thank goodness for George Foreman). Well that's that. Still unpacking. No internet yet, I'm sending this as a text message from my phone. Have a great rest-of-the-weekend!

Work.

2009-03-30T21:38:00.000-08:00

Today is a state holiday called Seward's Day. If you don't know anything about it, look it up. Though I had it off work... I went in for a few hours today. Last week I had terrible time adjusting to the time change since returning to Alaska from New York; had a few hours to make up. As you can see, our computers are all unplugged and covered with bags to protect them from any volcanic ash particulates that may come inside. The server was also down which meant all work to be done had to not involve the computer. Hard copy paperwork can only take up so much time and purging the file drawers was tolerable... But only with some music. That boombox saved the day today and I found myself enjoying the empty office a lot more than I thought I would in the middle of a nice day. The bumper sticker-like magnet in the third picture is hanging at my desk at work and gets laughs out of everyone who comes by. Just thought it would be fun to share here too.

Early? Late?

2009-03-29T16:41:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday one day late to my cousin Andy! Since I did this to his kitchen before I left New York, does in make my current sentiments on-time?

Arrival.

2009-03-23T20:08:00.000-08:00

I'm home.

Almost there.

2009-03-23T13:49:00.002-08:00

Heading home soon. Nearly missed my connection in Minneapolis... had fun riding backwards on one of those motorized cart deals with an elderly gentleman going to visit his son and new grandchild. See you soon!

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2009-03-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

In Detroit. About to board. I think my walk to my new gate was about 2 miles. Good walk complete with a very soothing light and sound tunnel and a fascinating water fountain. You'll hear from me in Minneapolis.

Catching up...

2009-03-23T09:48:00.000-08:00

Quick note about Friday: Grandpa Phil, my Mother's step father was brought to the hospice place and it was not good. At first there was a tender moment... Then he raised havoc and Grandma responded negatively. He's a very stubborn and controlling but I'd like to blame this particular incident on the fact that he is dealing with his own aging-related mental issues.

I've been doing a lot of driving here. The last post had an extra picture I snapped in the middle of knowhere when I simply took a Joanna-therapy drive on Thursday evening. On that drive I passed by the famous Beardslee Castle. It's historic and is known for being haunted. I've always wanted to in there and dine in their restaurant... so on Friday I did. Andy went to a concert and I needed that evening to either be around someone my age or be alone. Alone it was and I took myself to dinner... At Beardslee Castle. More to come to catch up. I'm now about to board my plane in Syracuse heading to Detroit.

Sitting. Waiting.

2009-03-20T09:06:00.000-08:00

Grandma's window is the one on the far left. Yesterday was different. I woke up frequently Wednesday night and had a migraine come yesterday morning. I got to the hospice center a few minutes before Andy was getting out of work. I sent him a text message reminding him to come visit with me and Grandma after work. He's a corrections officer in Herkimer not too far from where Grandma is. I had been getting on him for a few days about coming to visit Grandma. When I arrived at Grandma's bedside things were worse. She was not as communicative as the past few days. She only opened her eyes for seconds at a time. She couldn't really swallow anymore and due to thet was not able to take some medications not yet ordered in liquid form. One was for seizures so she had newly added padding lining the bed rails just in case. Those few inches of plastic covered foam made me feel further away from her somehow. I felt sacred. Ten after four, sure Andy was still nearby, I called and left a message on his cell phone pretty much demanding him to come see Grandma. He came. And he sat, only as close as the couch. Every time Grandma's eyes opened it was a rush to get him within her line of sight before she closed them again. Nobody may understand the connection Andy and I have. I can't say I completely understand it. There's always been this closeness though we've grown up on opposite ends of the nation. Andy was born one day shy of five months after me. Our mothers (sisters) both experienced misscarriages before becoming pregnant with us. We looked like twins when we were younger which inspired me as a child to pretend that he was my brother and simply didn't live nearby. That said, now there has been an unspoken importance for Grandma to see and know we are both here, together. After Andy left I broke down. It was easier for me to not cry while he was there. I had to take a walk to gather myself. On the walk I found a nice pavilion with the plaque you see. Traveling Mercies. That's what hospice nurses and volunteers are. Though Grandma is in a small hospice facility, most people receive hospice care in their homes. There people work to make sure people's last while on Earth is as pain-free and comfortable as possible. Nurse Tabitha has been my favorite. She really has grown close to Grandma. She said goodbye yesterday to Grandma and to me. She has the next three days off and expressed that she doesn't think she'll see "Joany" again. All the emotions... That is where the bench at the end of the path came in handy. That's my new spot to escape to. It's symbolic in a way. It's a bench at the end of a path and I can sit there and wait. I can sit with Grandma at the end of her path... And wait. There's another bench beyond the one I sit at that... I can't go to. There is brush and ground covering in my way. Maybe Grandma's new path is nearly done being cleared. She's getting ready to go sit at another bench to wait for the rest of us.

Distractions

2009-03-19T10:14:00.000-08:00

It rained yesterday; smelled so good when I went outside on my way to go visit Grandma, I drove with my window down the whole way there. Grandma's sister, Aunt Sally, arrived safely. She's shorter than I imagined. She stands about 4 foot 10 inches, give or take a few. Her facial expressions as Grandma, her little sister, went between sleeping and mumbling nonesense were... Heartbreaking. What does one say to a woman so torn? I don't know. I didn't know. So when I felt my eyes fill with tears, I left. It was my temporary solution. I needed some distractions. A passing train was a good start. A cool entrance to a little Italian restaurant was helpful (as well as their eggplant parm). The best was watching my cousin rock out on the drums when I got back to his house. His brother Mike was here and another guy with his own drumset. Dualling drumsets... Nothing better to distract a person who loves music. Thank you Andy for a good rescue.

Random posting

2009-03-17T10:57:00.000-08:00

I think I may have caught whatever cold Andy is fighting off. Taking my time today to get up and moving. I feel blah but promised Grandma I'd visit today... How could I miss any opportunity to spend time with her? It's just going to be later in the afternoon today, that's all. I've been aimless today wandering around Andy's house. His slippers were sitting on the kitchen floor and it's amazing how vastly opposite we are in certain aspects. He got the tall thin genes in the family complete with freckles... And I for sure got none of those three. We're both the redheads in our family though, left-handed, looked identical when we were younger, easy to please, quiet by nature, and fairly indifferent about whatever. We both like fishing, guns, a nice walk by the train tracks, and making fun of stupid commercials on the rare occasion we actually watch tv. I dare say we're cohabitating pretty well for cousins, people in general, who don't really know each other. Feels good. And here comes the random part: See the salad dressing container? How come everyone I know, it seems, has one of these while I admit to having never seen one until last summer? Even my cousin out here in the sticks (though not as far out as he'd like to be) has one in his fridge with homemade dressing in it. I feel so out of the loop. However, not one out here I've asked thus far has heard of or tried Nutella. It's a very tasty hazelnut and chocolate spread... And I snuck a jar into Andy's cabinet. He he, I'm so sly. Not.

If

2009-03-16T22:12:00.000-08:00

Grandma was better today. She actually answered, in part, simple questions rather than just parroting words. From the couch I asked, "Grandma, do you know who I am? "She answered, "Joanne." She identified me by voice as she had not seen me yet. Granted, she called me Joanne rather than Joanna but she's always done that. Today she could have answered saying I was her granddaughter or Suzy's daughter and I'd be just as thrilled. Shoot, she's alive... I'm thrilled. And yet... I'm trying to see things as they are. I was talking to a hospice nurse and found myself admitting to her, and now here in writing, that Grandma is very much suffering and not happy. Perhaps it would be better for her if... if she were to... pass sooner than later. Sad but true. I also would rather be here for emotional drama rather than 5000 miles away; kneenex is less expensive. That and Andy is here. I'm finding great comfort in being near my cousin. As far as the pictures go, I just wanted to sing praises to my GPS that has taken care of me very well thus far. Today I drove with it in the dark. Wow. If I had to rely on a map alone I may have never made it back to Andy's house after I got gas on the way from the hospice center. Gas, as you can see, is cheaper here. At home in Anchorage the cheapest unleaded gas today according to Google.com is $2.33 a gallon. The $2.15 you see above was high compared to the $2.09 seconds down the road that was also a full service station. I've seen prices as low as $2.01 so far. Crazy.

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2009-03-16T09:56:00.000-08:00

Good morning! It's Monday and I dare say a pretty good one. Yesterday I made it to church in Herkimer then spent a little over 5 hours at the hospice place with Grandma. She had a bad night which spilled over into a bad day. She ate for the first time yesterday while I was there and actually took hold of my hand which made me cry (not the most difficult thing to do these days). A lot of tears were shed between Grandma and myself. That's why approaching hour number 6 I had to leave; I was exhausted. I came back to Andy's and enjoyed a delicious dinner with him, Mike, Andrea, little Michael, and Jason, a cousin of Mike and Andy's from their dad's side of the family. After they left Andy and I stayed up talking about crime, racial profiling, septic tanks, wells, and water pumps. I found out that the couch/bed I'm sleeping on is usually in the basement as a chill spot in the band area. He hauled it upstairs last week so I'd have a place to sleep. When did my cousin become this awesome guy? On to today... Andy has the day off work and is still sleeping. We were up probably too late for our own good last night. I've been up for a while. Did the dishes from last night. Rotated Andy's laundry and started a small load of mine... Which means I'm house bound until my jeans are dry. I suppose that is why this post is so long... Considering the fact I'm posting from my cell phone. On that note I think the washer just stopped and I hear Andy getting up. Yay for a new day.

1000 Words

2009-03-14T22:16:00.000-08:00

If a picture is worth a thousand words... Are three worth three-thousand? I sat with Grandma today. She's smaller. She has lost most of her hair. Her mind comes and goes, and she cries a lot. A year and a half ago she didn't like her kitchen cabinets so she stripped them and redid them herself. Seeing her helpless and just laying there was so... backwards. She's still grandma though. I caught glimpses of Grandma that I know here and there. She knew who I was. When asked if she wanted candy (chocolate) she said, "You bet I do" and I think I saw a smile peek through. Her skin is soft like it always has been; she swears by Dove soap. Her eyes are beautiful brown, just like my mom's. Grandma is there, she waited for me, and my heart is full. (On a lighter note, Cousin Andy and I went to dinner just the two of us tonight and then simply hung out looking at pictures, eating sugar-free cremesicles, and watching pointless television.)

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2009-03-14T15:12:00.000-08:00

George, my GPS, delivered me safely to my cousin Andy's house yesterday. The view was a ton of beautiful nothing as you can see, with a few dozen farm silos peppered along the way. Andy put me up in his computer room which has our grandfather's old fold-out couch in it. I spent the rest of the day with Andy, visiting his parents and then coming back to his house and hanging out with cousin Mike, his wife Andrea, and their son Michael (he's 2 and the cutest little boy ever). Andy and little Michael were on the drumset in the basement with Mike at the mic with an electric guitar... They were pretty darn good. I didn't know they were musically inclined. I cruised around catching cute shots with my camera and chatting with Andrea. The evening was surreal and much needed.

Arrival

2009-03-13T10:46:00.000-08:00

I'm safely on the ground in Syracuse. My car is rented (Yay for Chevys!). I now sit in the first non fast-food place to eat that I found upon exit from the airport. Food is a welcome sight currently. In prep for the flight I've been trying to avoid food; a practice that certainly couldn't hurt me. It worked too. This was one of my best flying experiences yet. That and this fresh shrimp-stuffed Haddock tastes amazing. Speaking of which... I should eat and mingle. The people here are great. Hugs to all.

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2009-03-13T07:41:00.000-08:00

My flight to New York City was pleasant enough. The city was beautiful from the plane as we circled it numerous times due to the inability to land for about an hour. The man next to me pointed out the Empire State Building and Statue of Liberty. My airlines changed and I had to beat the block and the taxi yard by running to another terminal to catch my flight. As you can see, New York City to Syracuse is a shuttle... I got to run around on the tarmac before boarding my flight.

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2009-03-13T03:34:00.000-08:00

Now I'm in Minneapolis waiting to board. There's enough people in my immediate area that I had to take a picture of my boarding pass as it sits tucked in my carry-on. The flight here wasn't bad. I slept most way through. The man on my left was reading a book that looked like one I would have in my own bookshelf at home. The woman on my right welcomed light conversation while we were landing. Turns out she works for the company that financially manages a few properties my work utilizes for assisted living homes. My seat mates were super. We all wanted our lights on at the same time to read and we also slept at the same time. That was the best middle seat flight ever. Now let's see how Minneapolis to New York goes. More from me later. Hugs.

Leaving on a jet plane...

2009-03-12T20:53:00.000-08:00

It's 8:30pm Alaska time on Thursday March 12th. I am currently sitting at the airport waiting to board a plane for connection number one, Minneapolis. There were high-risk passengers on the flight that landed at my gate recently. Two left escorted by security personel; thee each. Bring on the adventures... Apparently security risk level sits high at Orange. Question is, has it ever gone down? More from me later.

Despite Itself

2009-03-10T21:55:00.005-08:00

Today I made it through 3/4 of my work day before remembering that my mother was going in for hip replacement number one of two. She's on the road to being the next bionic woman while I'm on the road to earning Worst Daughter Of The Year Award and it's only March; can't believe such a big day slipped my mind.

I've been rather distracted lately and am growing nervous as Thursday approaches. After work on Thursday I will be boarding an airplane headed to Upstate New York. Well, the first plane is heading to Minneapolis where I will transfer to a plane headed to New York City. From there I transfer to one more plane that will take me to Syracuse. In Syracuse I have a rental car waiting for me that I will drive to my destination in the middle of nowhere an hour or so away. Once arrived, I plan on proceeding to sleep on my cousin's couch.

Unfortunately my visit isn't a pleasure trip. My grandma Joan (Mom's mom) is nearing the end of her life here on Earth. As much as I know that she will be in a better place and that I will have the opportunity to see her again... it still pains me. Grandpa Jack (Mom's dad) passed on January 17th. I couldn't believe it nearly 2 months ago and I still have a hard time wrapping my brain around the whole idea that he's actually gone.

In my world, grandparents last forever. All of my grandparents are divorced. Three out of four of them re-married. That left me with 7 grandparents growing up. Where a lot of my friends' grandparents passed away here and there, the odds of mine were greater and none did for the first 24 years of my life. Heading into year 25 and -Sboosh!- there goes one with another following close behind.

When tragedy delivers, it delivers the Sunday edition (big and heavy).

The good drawn from this continuing ordeal is that the relationship I have with my cousin Andy is improving ten-fold. When Grandpa died I called Andy in New York and said, "Look. Someday when we are old and one of us dies, I don't want the other to be sad because of guilt from not knowing the other. I want the other to be sad and cry because of the loss of a loved one, a true friend". Then I informed him that I would be calling every Sunday just to talk.

Life is good despite life itself sometimes.

...hanging on a string outside the mug...

2009-03-06T00:33:00.005-09:00

Another page was -Rip!- cleared off my giant desk calendar at work as of Monday. I thought to myself, "I should update my blog, really update it".

Thus far I've updated here and there lazily through my cell phone. Hey, at least I did something.

Being the single young lady I am I have no married life, crazy husband, rambunctious children, or family adventures of the sort to report and shine about for the public to enjoy. Sometimes I wonder what I should talk about here. I desire to share, but what I have to share isn't always the most public friendly in the sense of... privacy? Plenty of interesting and dare I say dramatic things go on day to day and week to week in my life. I just wonder, where should sharing begin and end?

Is it kosher to anonymously share stories involving others that are pertinent to my life? Should I discuss how life's realities keep hitting me in the face? Do you want to know enough to be capable of identifying how each song on the music player at the bottom relates to life in my world?

How about this? I am going to begin tonight by just typing up what I'm doing and seeing where it brings me in conversation. It's one-way conversation, but it's conversation nonetheless.

I'm sitting here typing to the world and enjoying a cup of herbal tea. I suppose since a dear friend educated me the other day regarding appropriate lingo of hot drinks, I should state such bland activities properly: "So I'm sitting here typing to the world and enjoying a cup of herbal infusion". Yes, infusion. The word tea implies that such drinks are made using tea leaves, which is not the case for what the public identifies as "herbal teas"... you know, those non-caffeinated non-tea-leaf-containing ones that Mormons can drink.

The infusion isn't that tasty... but it's warm which is good. That and it has a fortune-like saying printed on the paper tag hanging on a string outside the mug. It says, "YOUR CHOICES WILL CHANGE THE WORLD". A thought of, "Oh cool, a fortune on the tag" was quickly followed by, "Oh goodness, that's a lot of pressure". What an expectation. I agree that it's true though. The choices of every single person somehow affect and change the world now or later. We cannot take place in occupying a body and having a life sustained on this Earth without affecting something sometime. The strongest influences in the world are between people therefore I hypothesize that the greatest contribution toward changing the world via our choices is by choosing wisely how we treat others.

One person at a time... change the world one person at a time. That is my challenge to any who pass this way.

Good night.

Story Of My Non-Dating Life.... in Chinese.

2009-03-06T00:21:00.003-09:00

Self-Portrait

2009-03-05T01:34:00.001-09:00

This is why I haven't updated my blog in a bit. Life has found a way to maintain exhaustion levels quite efficiently as of late.

Thank You

2009-02-28T12:04:00.003-09:00

"God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that He meets our needs."

-Spencer W. Kimball

Thank you my friend, you know who you are.

Updates coming...

2009-02-02T17:28:00.000-09:00

Look! It's a new month! I have so many things to share on my blog so hang tight. More to come soon!

Polar Weather

2009-01-14T10:46:00.000-09:00

There are lakes of water amidst the ice and snow. It’s raining… merely days after negative 20 degree and colder weather. Schools are closed. Military bases are closed. Colleges are closed. Roads are closed. And I barely made it to work.

It's over.

2009-01-07T17:37:00.000-09:00

The angel is officially off the Christmas Tree.

Who needs a stove? Cook at the table!

2008-12-31T12:45:00.000-09:00

"I only smile for picture." -Chef Kenichi at Benihana (Entertainment for a great New Years Eve work meeting).

Snow

2008-12-26T03:17:00.001-09:00

The walk areas were down to the wood of the porch Christmas morning. It's approaching 3 am the day after Christmas. IT JUST KEEPS COMING DOWN! I drove a friend to the airport and I realized that it's near blizzard conditions out there. I was actually frightened a bit on the road. All I wanted to do was return to the apartment I'm watching for the holidays. Now that I'm here, I'm having mixed emotions... I'm stuck here due to the snow. My car bottomed out on the way in and by mere miracle it's parked in a parking spot and not blocking the alley. That was for sure a tender mercy. So everybody, hope your Christmas was great and sweet.

Strange Fruit.

2008-12-22T23:01:00.000-09:00

My co-worker, and dare I say friend, left me a note this afternoon on my car. Literally, ON MY CAR. Odd. Well, maybe not for Luke. One wonders what he will do when I start walking to work... Sew messages to my coat?

Just so happy!

2008-12-12T01:18:00.000-09:00

The moon was bright and the sky dark... at 6pm. Well, that's when I walked out of work and took the photo with my phone. The radio said the sun set somewhere around 3pm. Crazy isn't it? No wonder people up here have emotional issues onset by SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Keeping my eyes open for a light therapy thing myself to be honest. They're often called SAD lights but I think they should be called HAPPY lights. Speaking of happy... Two of my friends are getting married tomorrow and I am just so happy! I put together a collage frame of pictures I took of them this fall and am excited to bring it to the reception... so excited I'm sharing it here.

No promises

2008-11-25T23:40:00.004-09:00

Yes, I know.

I've been silent.

Excuse me for being busy, sometimes too much so for my own good.

Life is.... well, it just IS.

I do not promise a major update, it's a little late for that. I do not promise a photo walk through of the last few months, I'm too swamped. I do not promise you a rose garden, just 'cause that's a reference to an old song that just popped up in my head.

You know you love me and my randomness. Admit it, you do.

It snowed today. Not that snowing is anything unusual for Anchorage, Alaska in November. I just wanted to throw that in there, it snowed again. I sometimes feel like I live in a snow globe and God has fun picking it up and shaking it. Mind you, that's not just in reference to the weather.

I borrowed two books from the Institute of Religion's library today. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Powerful Lessons in Personal Change by Stephen R. Covey and The Power Within Us by Russell M. Nelson.

Thanksgiving is in a couple days. Tomorrow night I am making 2 cheesecakes to bring to the family gathering. One will be sugar-free, I'm experimenting with Splenda.

Along with cheesecake, also present at Thanksgiving dinner will by my cousin's fiance. I haven't met him yet, but everyone seems to like him thus far. Crazy, I didn't even get a phone call about the engagement - I found out through Facebook. Meh. I don't know why, but I feel like an inadequate older cousin because I'm not married first. It's as if I haven't fulfilled my duties. Dude, I rarely even date. Toss me to the curb, I'm broken.

And yes, I used the word "dude" in my blog post. Get over it.

Yes, that great.

2008-10-23T22:18:00.005-08:00

It has been a while since I've written to the world.

My apologies are extended to any who care.

Before I catch y'all up via a really whopper post including photos, I have a video you should watch. My cousin sent it in a forward and it really touched me.

My heart swells just thinking of how much love our Heavenly Father and elder brother Jesus Christ has for us. Though He knew it was part of a miraculous plan, and He knew everything would be ok, Heavenly Father wept the day His eldest son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for us.... for you.... for me. He could have stopped it, and as a father He perhaps wanted to. However, He allowed it to happen because He knew it would allow all of His other children to overcome physical death, and if we do our best, overcome spiritual death as well. How great is that? I'll tell you how great it is. It's so great that with my every breath, my every step, my every everything... I want to emanate the feelings of my thankful heart. Yes, that great.

Enjoy.

Love,

Joanna

PS. If you are reading this from my actual blog, go to the bottom of the site and stop the music that is playing before playing the video.

Commentary on the movie: Note how it said the little boy loved the commuters on the train and then when the train was going to crash, the boy took the step to open the hatch and reach for the emergency brake. He sacrificed himself for those people, and his father allowed it to happen for the people's lives. Then, when all was said and done, he witnessed the change in ONE single woman, and was full of joy. All of that for one soul and it was worth it. Again, my heart is full.

Sometimes things happen

2008-09-10T09:29:00.004-08:00

Last night while trying to drive home, I was rerouted by at least 8 police vehicles staking out the neighborhood. I didn't know what was going on until I found went to our newspaper's website this morning.

Click here to read about the shooting last night.

Welcome home. This was just down the street from me.

There are tender mercies all around.

My friend Shad lives in the condos mentioned in the article... and amazingly enough, he's out of town right now.

Likewise, I came home later than I have the last few evenings and missed the action as well.

And so did my friend Xiong, who lives down the road-ish on the other side of the condos.

Again, tender mercies....

This is what happens...

2008-08-28T15:28:00.000-08:00

...when I find cool stickers on the newspaper.

The Poles

2008-08-27T02:15:00.001-08:00

I learned today that even non-partison registered voters like myself CAN vote in our primary elections in Alaska.

New Photo Website!!!

2008-08-25T09:22:00.004-08:00

I got creative and started my own independent website based on my passion for photography.

JElsie Photography (Cick Here!)

It's under construction, but please come by!!!

It will be replacing my old "JElsie Photography" photo blog that was here.

THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

Randomness

2008-08-23T00:17:00.001-08:00

There has been a lot of just... random things popping up this week.

I'll start with the picture, so there's less time with you sitting there thinking I'm crazy.

One of the school kids a client of mine works with used every single Boggle (it's a word game) cube to make a phrase. Granted, the phrase is a little out-there, but I admit she did a good job. Can't you see it being used in the future? After some kid gets in trouble his friend turns to him and says, "Dude, you're in ice hot baby soup." It cracked me up and I just HAD to share, and the creative young lady gave me permission too. She is just starting the 2nd grade and says hi.

This morning I watched a woman cross the street walking what looked like a cross between a poodle and a pug. Seriously. It fascinated me and I spent the rest of the drive to my first location wondering what that dog could possibly be called. I am torn between "Pu-Doodle" and "Pug-Ooodle". I like them both.

Last night as I was leaving my friend's apartment I was startled half to death when I stepped around the corner of the building. There were two cops standing there with two people and everyone was silent. I kinda jumped as I turned the corner and said, "Ooh! You scared the crap out of me!" -Silence- That's right, complete silence. Talk about rude. I had to walk THROUGH everyone to get to my car and nobody would even give me the dignity of acknowledgment. A grunt would have sufficed. Gee whiz.

Those weren't the first cops I saw yesterday. Everywhere I travelled yesterday there were at least 5 police cars within my sight. Seriously. From 9 yesterday morning to *cough* 1:30 this morning they were everywhere all the time. No complaints though, I felt rather safe.

I know more interesting things went on this week but I can't put a finger on them. I just wanted to update the blog a little while I'm waiting for gazillions of photos to upload from the camping trip I went on this last weekend.

Enjoy.

Thump THUMP...

2008-08-14T11:46:00.000-08:00

I visited my parents last night and had the pleasure of enjoying what I'd like to call the classic Dickson snack food... CHICKEN HEARTS. They make mom squirm a little, especially when you present one to her while making heart sounds -thump-THUMP-thump THUMP-. My family rocks.

Pedestrian hairdos after a good rain...

2008-08-13T11:32:00.000-08:00

Some of our busses are... decorated above and beyond the average People Mover logos. This one is deceiving. Though "Big Wild Life" describes a lot of this place (Alaska) I do not agree that it should be so nonchalantly used to describe Anchorage. This city of my birth is a great tourist trap and a good place to live. HOWEVER. Big describes our physical footprint and our population compared to everywhere else in Alaska. Wild describes pedestrian hairdos after a good rain and maybe the occasional moose that crashes in the backyard for the weekend. Adventure... that happens outside the city.

WZNTME

2008-08-12T00:40:00.000-08:00

My subject line answers the question posed on this license plate that got me laughing pretty hard at a red light this afternoon.... Enjoy.

Dew!

2008-08-08T12:38:00.001-08:00

Yesterday morning there was dew on my car. DEW! I haven't seen dew on my car windows like that since I was in Maryland. So random. And yesterday afternoon a rain cloud infiltrated our beautiful sunny day with giant droplets of water. What made it blog-worthy is the fact that it was a small shower in size; roughly 5 blocks by 1 block. SERIOUSLY. It was dry on 7th and 9th but not 8th, and it was dry on Bragaw and on Pine but not in between the two. CRAZY. It was just a silly little rain cloud that took a cruise through the city.

Nobody here is perfect

2008-08-07T19:56:00.003-08:00

Yesterday morning one of my clients (who happens to also be Mormon) said in reference to her family and going back to church after a period of inactivity,

"It's too late for us."

Out of my mouth came,

"It's never too late."

And then I was left in thought.

Y'know, it's never TOO late for anything. Reactivation in the true church, repentance, forgiveness, making things right...

With God, soon is better and late is better than never.

Later in the morning this same client asked,

"Do you think everyone loves Jesus?"

I said,

"I wish they did, but a lot of people have different beliefs."

She asked if I belived in Jesus and I said,

"Yes, I do."

She continued,

"My sister doesn't believe in Jesus, but I know He still loves her. Nobody here is perfect."

So if there is someone out there reading this who needs that little extra SOMETHING today, God loves you. Jesus loves you. I love you. Never ever ever give up.

Wipe THIS!

2008-08-06T12:59:00.000-08:00

While on the nightly walk with Bandit on Monday we cruised through the neighborhood instead of going to the park. We were going to visit my grandparents and uncle and made an interesting discovery on the way there... A car with mini windshield wipers on its headlights!!! The kicker is this: Though this car was equipped to keep the headlights clear, it lacked the oh-so-popular rear window wiper. I don't understand the logic here...

A Longer Rope

2008-08-05T19:25:00.006-08:00

My six month review at work is right around the corner and I just finished a written self-assessment. I feel the need to share a piece of it with the world. Sometimes I am so honest I crack myself up.

The fifth question on the assessment was "What do you need to do your job more effectively?" and was finding it difficult to answer.

And then it came to me:

I need more patience. There are select clients that make the trip to the end of the proverbial rope a lot quicker than others. Maybe I just need a longer rope.

My supervisor's supervisor has a BA in English and a good sense of humor. Of all the people that may read my self-assessment, I think he will appreciate it the most.

I'll let you know how it went over when I meet with everyone for the review. Or maybe I won't let you know. Don't hold your breath.

BiG Bugs

2008-08-02T22:29:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention the other house sitting friends I have for the next few weeks: WALKING STICKS. They are a type of insect and pretty darn cool. They are quiet, eat raspberry leaves, and reproduce like crazy... since they are stuck in a tank all day I guess they have nothing better to do, eh?

A front row seat...

2008-08-02T12:48:00.001-08:00

There was a cop directing traffic at the intersection of Northern Lights and Lake Otis. Was there an accident? NO. Construction? Yes, but there's always construction during the summer in Anchorage and it doesn't warrant the exhaustion of our law enforcement personnel. Today the reason my less-than-15-minute trip from the blood bank to my apartment took about 35 was due to the fact that all roads leading home were infiltrated by runners. There was some feel-good sponsored run going on today and I had the privilege of watching from a front row seat (saying it that why makes me feel better about sitting in traffic). I can't complain, the runners were out doing something good for the world and that's what matters here. I just found the cop directing traffic unusual today and definitely had the time to take a few cell phone pictures to share.

Multimedia message

2008-08-01T21:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you do get what you want. After my day at work, Bandit and I DID go to the ballpark and play frisbee. We even got a bonus of a playmate named Skyler. Current mood: Happy (but plumb tuckered out).

A simple drooling critter...

2008-08-01T21:07:00.000-08:00

Meet Bandit, my new buddy for the next two weeks. All I wanted to do today was get off work, come back here, and go to the ballpark to play frisbee in the good weather with Bandit. Crazy what a simple drooling critter can do for a person's morale.

What did I do to deserve this?

2008-08-01T00:10:00.001-08:00

My roommate took a house sitting gig that conflicted with another she had committed to already. She asked, and I agreed to take over the second part of one when the other started. Well it's been a rough week for just about everyone, and long story short, I'm here in a strange house a week early... And I am so GRATEFUL. There is a lovely dog here named Bandit who took me for a walk around 11pm. You see the picture... Isn't it beautiful? I needed that this week, I really did. It touched my heart and I am filled. Thank you to a roommate who let me lend a hand. It is easier to give than receive. We all know that. So to everyone out there, make life easier on others and let them do something nice for you once in a while. I promise you, it's a good thing.

Only In Alaska

2008-07-31T10:49:00.001-08:00

What you don't see is the young bull moose (or maybe you are really good and can identify the brown spot). What you DO see is the police who chased the moose around the building my client is working in this morning and then up the road and into someone's yard to feast on their trees. Only in Alaska...

The Power of YouTube

2008-07-27T21:55:00.001-08:00

On Saturday some friends and I decided to try the theory (made popular on YouTube.com) that one can pop popcorn with the radiation emitted by active cell phones.

As you can see, success was not achieved.

And here is everyone watching the YouTube video that says it's all a joke...

Feeling very very silly.

It's my blog, I can post what I want to.

2008-07-23T23:27:00.000-08:00

Our dryer doesn't exactly work right. This evening I swallowed my pride and gave up trying to get my clothes dry by morning before finding myself uncomfortably dealing with fresh-from-the-washer-wet jeans out in the public. The image of my socks draped over a hanger hung on a shower curtain rod where a closet door should be started cracking me up. Thought I'd share a laugh at my expense. Maybe it's not that humorous. Maybe I'm just tired. Who cares! Like that song that goes "It's my party, I can cry if I want to"... It's my blog and I can post what I want to.

Shred Room Printer

2008-07-17T19:49:00.005-08:00

I sent this informative yet light and slightly crass email to my team at work today, inspired by an incident someone enlisted #5 to solve and upon saving the day I found the problem was #2 – it will make sense once you read the email. I think it may have been one of the first emails my team has gotten from me that lets my true personality shine through. Ah, it feels good to be free. Pity I can’t be so liberal with skill development and service note documentation I do for work. That would be… hilarious to say the least.

From: Joanna Dickson
Sent: Thursday, July 17, 2008 2:31 PM
To: Onyx Email
Subject: Shred Room Printer

Rumor has it that we may be getting a new printer in the shred room… but until then, here are 5 questions to ask yourself before you fantasize about chucking it out the door:

Is the printer setting correct? Go to [File] and click on [Print] then change the name of the printer to the Hp Laser Jet something-or-other. It should NOT be on Microsoft Office Document Image Writer… that will get you nowhere except to a window that asks you to save something somewhere… and who knows what that will do.
Is the printer plugged in? Yes, it gets unplugged once in a blue-moon.
Is the printer ON? The power button is NOT on the front, it’s on the back near the power plug. The green button on the front is no button, just a mere indicator light to tell you if it’s on or not. Unfortunately it’s rather dim sometimes and misleading.
Am I giving it a moment to clear the printing cache? With every failed attempt to print something another document is added to the printing cache, a backlog of crap waiting to be printed. You can double-click on the teeny-tiny printer icon in the bottom right corner of the screen and it will show you the often enormous list of stubbornness in action. You can even right click on each print job and select [restart] if you are in doubt about whether or not the computer will ever get the job done. Just remember it won’t print YOUR stuff till all the other stuff is cleared out of that cache, so don’t be greedy.
Is Joanna at the office? If I’m here and you are ready to wrestle with that dang ol’ printer, give me a ring (on the phone of course… though I’m not too picky, I like sparkly stuff too). :o)

Enjoy your many adventures with the aforementioned beast of a printer!!!

Joanna E. Dickson

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being." -Goethe

Sweet Stuff

2008-07-16T18:04:00.001-08:00

Have I mentioned lately how much I love the rain??? (From the title of this post you thought I was gonna write about all the ice cream I ate last Wednesday night, didn't you? Gotcha!!!) But if you want to enjoy a funny moment regarding that night, take a cruise through my "He Said, She Said" page and witness what a bit of sugar will do to my brain functioning. Yikes.

Healing Balm

2008-07-09T14:09:00.002-08:00

Barely an hour after my last post I got a phone call from my best friend, Johanna.

God has His ways of keeping us whole, did you know that?

BEST FRIENDS ALWAYS HAVE A WAY TO MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER.

Today Johanna's healing balm consisted of this phrase: "I'm having a baby today".

God is good, really good.

God threw the cherry on top...

2008-07-09T09:05:00.003-08:00

Yesterday was an oober bad day.

When your whole day goes kinda rotten, you get to mid-evening and ask God, "Alright, what else do you have coming? The other shoe has to drop sometime, you gonna let it fall now so I can just get it all over with?"

And then He takes your symbolically Pepto-Bismol Icescream Sundae of a day and throws the cherry on top of it.

Joe broke up with me on a walk later in the evening.

And that's all I'm going to say about it. This chapter is closed.

I fibbed. I'm a writer, chapters don't close in our world. I will probably rehash it once in a while. Respectfully, of course. I mean, come on, we had good times. Joe's a great guy. I still have photos to share from some of our adventures!

There are good memories and life lessons embedded in this experience and to back me up, Spencer W. Kimball once said, "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God."

RAIN...

2008-07-07T08:54:00.001-08:00

It rained yesterday for a short time, and fairly heavy for Anchorage. I even got a bit misty-eyed missing the heavy rains of Maryland, my home away from home. Of course I hid it well since I was soaked from enjoying the rain between meetings at church... Ah, life is good.

'Neath that ol' Georgia Pine

2008-07-03T10:19:00.001-08:00

I went back to the office for 2 and a half hours after my 8 hours with clients to catch up with paperwork... Or I guess it was more to transfer too much information to community logs that track client progress... Whatever. After that Joe "stole" me for a walk, which was neat because we now live within walking distance of each other. It's like the country song..."We'll meet in the middle 'neath that ol' Georgia Pine"... Well, at least on Pine Street anyway. That's the main road that connects us. Just felt like sharing my day...

Moving...

2008-07-01T23:08:00.001-08:00

Yup, I'm in the midst of moving to my new place. And so is my fish. All buckled up and ready to go!

She left her pink glasses...

2008-06-30T11:23:00.001-08:00

This is the image of sadness... One of my clients, a nice young lady, suffered a loss this morning. One of her favorite AnchorRides drivers committed suicide yesterday. As she explained it, he died with a rope around his neck. Situations like this must make God's heart hurt beyond anything we can imagine. I just don't understand... and neither does my client who left her pink glasses at the work area as she escaped to the bathroom for a good cry. I followed a few minutes later to play "mom". These precious moments really get me... I love my job.

Lilacs in a very small world

2008-06-26T11:11:00.001-08:00

Mmmm... One of my clients' co-workers made us blueberry smoothies this morning. She just walked in, set them down, and walked out. You never know what to expect on a Thursday morning. Another perk of the morning are the lilacs on the bartop. They are beautiful, I'm really enjoying having them in view. They smell great. And they remind me of my mother, as does this restaurant. It's attached to a hotel my mother used to live in and work at in the 70's and early 80's. In fact, the restaurant was not here back then and instead there used to be rooms in this portion of the building... And one of then was my mom's. I could be at this very minute, sitting in my mom's old room. CRAZY.

Unexpected Lullabies

2008-06-26T00:22:00.001-08:00

I got a call yesterday from home that was urgent and pressing. At first I thought the dog had died. Thank goodness I was wrong. The upstairs bathroom had flooded. I guess I could say MY bathroom had flooded... But it's only mine for a few more days since I'm moving to an apartment in midtown soon. Anyway, there was a flood. Oh the excitement. As you can see, the floor got ripped up. Not so bad, I've lived in worse. Remember I used to live in Downtown Baltimore. 100 degree weather+100% humidity = pure misery when the AC went out and the freezer defrosted. And then there was the place with the kitchen that doubled as a military base for ants. THRILLING. I must say, the floor in the bathroom at the parent's place doesn't look half bad without vinyl and the two monster fans do a pretty good job lulling... me... to... sleep. Zzzzzzzz...

Land Of The Midnight Sun

2008-06-25T23:48:00.001-08:00

It's a few minutes till Midnight and this is what it looks like outside. Oh boy, there's no place like home.

Chipotle In Alaska

2008-06-24T00:58:00.000-08:00

My friend Nicole's husband is in Texas. They are stationed at two different bases at the moment since they were only engaged when put there. Nicole is up here with me in Alaska. Her hubby recently visited for a bit up here and Nicole and I came to the conclusion that he needed to mail us some food from one of our favorite places in the lower 48... CHIPOTLE. We have a Qudoba which is similar... but it just doesn't compare. Now, when I suggested he mail us food, I was merely kidding and didn't think he'd really do it. That would be crazy right? Yeah... In the picture is the Chipotle chicken buritto he vacuum-packed and sent. I love my friends. I really do. I think this tops off the list of cool random things anyone has done on my behalf thusfar. Yay for Chipotle in Alaska!